Positive Affirmations are Chiefly Ineffective and Misleading (Here�s Why)

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Posted on: 15th Jul 2014

Positive affirmations are uplifting statements that are voiced repeatedly to help an individual dramatically reverse negative thoughts. In theory, the statement takes on the task of influencing the subconscious mind to act in accordance with a desired end result. However, research psychologists at the University of Waterloo have now found that affirmations generally do not work. Their conclusion is that instead of inspiring people to improve, affirmations are far more likely to confuse them and give them false hope. Were you among them? If so, let�s see why it most likely didn�t work for you.

The Research Study on Positive Affirmations
In a study involving 68 students, the subjects were asked to repeat the statement �I am a lovable person� every 15 seconds. When the study ended, the results showed that while the affirmation worked for some, it proved unsuccessful for others (particularly those with low self-esteem). In fact, it made them feel worse. Here are some possible reasons why they didn�t work for them or you.

You Didn�t Believe It
What possible reason would you have for not believing that you are a lovable person?
Seeing yourself as lovable shouldn�t be difficult; let alone make you feel worse. However, there are several reasons why this is the case. One explanation is that throughout your life, many people have told you repeatedly that you�re not lovable. Over time, you started to not only believe it, but also embrace it. According to research psychologists, repeating positive affirmation to reverse the negative thought wouldn�t work, because it is so engrained in your sub-conscience that you wouldn�t believe the affirmation.

You Didn�t Understand What it Really Meant
Did you really understand what you were affirming? Did you even know what is meant by �being lovable�? It�s possible that you thought it meant being a people-pleaser, an unwilling victim, or a verbal punching bag. You were convinced that the affirmation would help you even though you were never given an accurate definition of the term �lovable�. Therefore, you didn�t understand what it meant.

Your Behavior Reveals the Contrary
You behave contrary to the self-esteem affirmation, because you haven�t changed your behavior. You don�t act like someone who is lovable or even deserving of love. You�re probably distant, mean-spirited, and unapproachable. It�s likely that you don�t reach out to receive love; even though there are others ready to bestow it upon you. In this case, your behavior would reflect your feelings of not being lovable.

You Didn�t Know How to Make it Happen
Another big problem is that you didn�t know how to make it happen. Becoming a lovable person takes a great deal of effort and compromise. However, the affirmation seems to suggest that if you were to merely repeat it, everyone you meet would lovingly kneel to you. Obviously, nothing could be furthest from the truth. In that case, the real question isn�t if you�re a lovable person. The question is if you know what to do to be lovable.
Once you learn what to do, you will work towards being a lovable person.

You Couldn�t Provide Any Proof to its Validity
The only positive affirmations that work are those where there is some prior evidence that supports their validity. It�s likely that you have no proof that you are a lovable person. In fact, all of your evidence might even prove the contrary. Did anyone ever tell you that they loved you? Did you ever receive a loving hug? Did anyone ever express love to you in any form? More importantly, do you love yourself? If your answer is �no� to all of the above, then it�s likely that you don�t really have any proof that you are a lovable person.

Conclusion
So, what�s the alternative? According to the researchers from the University of Waterloo and the University of New Brunswick, positive affirmations don't help build self-esteem.
Instead, they encourage those with low self-esteem to accept their negative feelings about themselves. To begin, don�t state affirmations that you can�t verify, define, relate to, or demonstrate. Likewise, stay from those that you don�t believe. Instead, you should only affirm what you can prove and substantiate. Be honest and upfront with yourself. It�s likely you�re not a lovable person. However, you can become lovable. Therefore, a better statement would be �I�m not a lovable person yet, but I�m working very hard everyday at becoming one.� Don�t be a false optimist, but don�t be a pessimist either. Be honest, but also cautiously optimistic.

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Positive Affirmations are Chiefly Ineffective and Misleading (Here�s Why)

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