How to get rid of past hurts and make new friends

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Posted on: 24th Oct 2013

How to get rid of past hurts and make new friends

Making friends is hard enough, sure, but if you have previous traumatic events in your life, it is twice as hard to make friends. First, my advice is to explore what the traumatic or upsetting events are, before you even think about making friends. I believe that if you deal with your issues first and then approach others later.

So, first figure out what it is that you need to deal with. Wiki How explains, �Before you can get rid of haunting memories, you must come to terms with the origin of those memories. You cannot let go of anything that you try to suppress. Suppression is not a solution, it is only a band-aid on the problem. Talking to someone about these memories can assist you in coming to terms with them. If that is too much for you to do, buy a journal and write it down. Writing can be very therapeutic. Really, all you need is a way to get your feelings about these experiences out�

Once you identify the memories that bother you, it is time to be brave and face them. �Now that you have mentally cleansed yourself, you can begin to "let go." Letting go means that you allow yourself to understand that any experience you have had, good or bad, is not your fault. You can get to the point where you know that each experience you've had the opportunity to witness is meant to be a lesson to you. You were meant to learn something from the situation so that you could advance to where you need to be in this life. When learning to let go, internalizing this first point is the most important.� Now, letting go does not necessarily have to be a short, quick one-time thing. Maybe you will need a month or two to detox these bad, hurtful experiences out of your system.

Try to glean a mantra out of these hurtful memories. How do they make you a stronger, better friend? �When you define the lesson you were meant to learn, create a mantra on paper, that you can commit to memory. This mantra should include the experience itself, as well as what you have learned from it. For example, if you have a painful memory of abuse, your mantra can read: "Through the memory of being emotionally abused, I am learning to be a stronger person and I will no longer allow anyone to take advantage of me."� Figuring out a lesson, a piece of wisdom, makes you get over the hurtful experience, see it as a learning experience. In addition, it helps you become a stronger person who perceives unfortunate events as opportunities to become an even better person.

And finally, you are ready to make friends. Talk to people, mingle, and take chances. The person who seems intimidating may end up being one of your best friends. You just have to take a chance.

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