Learning Acceptable Behavior Begins at Home

Let us first put this out front and center; parents are teachers, too.  When it comes to child
rearing, one of the most important lessons a parent can teach their youngster is that they
are accountable for their behavior.  This means helping the child learn how to interact with
others in a ways that are acceptable and show self-respect, as well as respect toward others.

No child comes into this world pre-programmed with good manners and virtuous attributes
such as a willingness to share, consideration for the feelings of others, respect for others
possessions, respect for authority figures, and a selfless attitude. 

Acceptable and considerate behavior must be taught and given positive reinforcement while a
child is very young so that it is instilled by the time they are older, when the risk of irresponsible
behavior can evolve even to the point of exhibiting criminal behavior. 

Teaching a child about acceptable and responsible behavior begins at home.  It is achieved in
part by standing as a good example on a daily basis.  The standard of responsible behavior starts
from the top with the parents being conscientious about exhibiting maturity in the ways they deal
with other people, react to stressful situations, disagree with others, make choices, etc.

Parents can help their children grow into responsible adults by being a positive role model.  Helping
them learn how to think, feel, and act responsibly, and to pursue their own interests without becoming
insensitive of the needs and feelings of others.  

Accountability, fairness, honesty, courage, and respect toward self and others are important character
traits.  I remind my grandkids that though you may outgrow your childhood they will never outgrow having
self-respect and respect for others. Many parents help instill these qualities by sharing deeply held religious
and moral convictions with their children.  Showing �why� these attributes are important as a foundation for
ethical behavior, even when difficult or not materially rewarding.

Responsible behavior is a cultivated trait.  It is a characteristic formed over time, made up of our outlook on
life and daily habits.  Responsible people behave that way whether or not anyone is watching, and regardless
of how others may act.

There are several aspects of responsible behavior that should be highlighted to children.  At the top of the
list is Respect and Compassion toward others.  This should be the corner stone for all other aspects of
responsible behavior: 

Respect and Compassion:  Responsible behavior is impossible apart from respect and compassion toward
other people, as well as other life forms.  Compassion directs kindness and an unwillingness to intentionally
cause suffering or pain.  Respect dictates basic manners and consideration toward others.  Concern is exhibited
through both feelings and actions.

Honesty:  To be honest means not only telling the truth to others; it means being honest with one�s own self. 
It means making decisions based upon truth and evidence, not upon self-serving motives or prejudice. 

Courage:  When a person is courageous, they take a position and do what is right, even when there is risk
involved.  It means facing duties instead of behaving irresponsibly, recklessly, or carelessly. 

Self-control: Self-control is the ability to act responsibly, and resist inappropriate behavior.  It involves sticking
to long-term commitments, and dealing with anger and other emotions in a responsible manner.

Self-respect: When a child is raised to be honest, courageous, and to exhibit self-control, they automatically
learn to respect themselves.  It is as they respond to people and circumstances in a responsible manner and
learn to make responsible choices that they discover self-respect.

And it is self-respect that will hold your child in good stead as they grow, mature into adults, and then perhaps
become responsible parents with children of their own to rear.

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Doyle invites you to find out more about parenting and other related topics at Household Family

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