There
are some women that just can�t seem to set the type of boundaries
that they need in their relationships or even just for dating. Many
reasons exist for this to happen, but what it comes down to is that a
lot of women simply have
trouble saying the word �no.� They have this problem even
when they know what they want their boundaries and rules for dating
to be. When it comes down to it, setting these boundaries take
perseverance and willpower to be successful.
One
reason to set and keep these personal boundaries is to boost your
self-respect. These boundaries help you care for and protect your
body, mind and spirit. They also give you the right to have equal
footing in the relationship. In other words, if you want to have a
successful relationship, the most important thing you can do is set
some healthy boundaries.
One
of the first ways that you can start to set relationship boundaries
is to reflect on past relationships that you�ve had. Figure out
what you would have done differently. Then list the mistakes that you
made. You�re likely to find that most, if not all, of these
happened because you let down on your boundaries. This should be a
leisurely process so that you can identify the pattern of your
behavior when it comes to relationships.
Next,
you need to make a new list of healthy boundaries. Take the knowledge
you gained from those past mistakes so you can initiate the changes
you need to make now. Decide if you need to add any new boundaries to
the list, including those of internet dating and social media.
Now,
you need to prioritize your own well-being. In spite of how it
may sound, this isn�t being self-centered or selfish. At least not
in the way you would think. Don�t depend on another person to make
what you need and want their first priority. That�s what you should
be doing. In a healthy relationship, each partner is in control of
their own happiness. You�ll also find that if you take care of
yourself, others around you will also do so.
Last,
but not least, you need to be open with your communications. You and
your partner will each have ideas regarding what boundaries are
needed to feel respected and safe. If there�s a problem of some
sort, you must talk it over. You can�t allow it to just be swept
under the rug without being dealt with. Your boundaries show a lot
about your integrity and principles. If you can discuss personal
boundaries together, you can create more intimacy within the
relationship.
If
you want your relationship to be healthy, you must have healthy
boundaries. Each relationship must have some compromise, but you must
never let go of what you feel is important just so someone will stay
with you. When you maintain your own boundaries in relationships,
those wrong men will fall to the side, leaving room for the right
ones to come into your life.
By Max Taylor