Many
people are so busy focusing on finding someone to be in a
relationship with that they miss the fact that they�re not actually
ready to be involved with anyone right then. It may seem that anyone
would realize that they don�t really want to
be involved with someone, but that�s not always true. There
may, instead, be a craving of sorts to have someone in your life and
someone that you can share things with. That�s not, however, the
same thing as being ready to be in a relationship.
One
sign that you�re not ready for a relationship is in the guys that
you keep being drawn to. Time after time, the guy you�re attracted
to is in no way the one that you need to be with. Even though you�re
warned that he�s a huge player or a loser, it doesn�t stop you
from latching onto him. It also doesn�t take very long to realize
that you�ve made a big mistake.
If
you must have a man in your life in order to feel happy, that�s
another sign that you�re not ready to be involved in a
relationship. When you�re invited to a social event, unless you
have a date to escort you, it�s likely that you�ll make up an
excuse to not attend. This is never a good reason to jump into
a relationship. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself
first.
Some
women feel they�re saviors and will look for a guy that can be
their project. What this translates to is that they need drama in
their lives so they find someone that�s so dysfunctional that it
will keep them quite occupied in saving him. Being a therapist isn�t
the same thing as being a girlfriend.
On
the flip side of that, you want someone to save you. If you�re
constantly talking about what a mess your life is in, you need to fix
all of that before you�re ready for a real relationship. What
you�ll most likely do is attract a man with all of your same issues
so that neither of you can get better.
You
feel you need a man to �complete� you. While this sounds great in
a movie or in a book, reality is a bit different. There should be no
completing. In fact, you might consider looking for a guy that will
complement you. That makes you look a lot less needy.
If
you�re spending more time looking for love than enjoying the
interests you have, you�re not ready to be in a relationship.
Granted, you do need to be out there in social situations if you ever
plan to meet the right guy, but don�t plan all of your outings
around The Hunt. It�s not normal.
Deal
with any leftover emotional baggage that you may have before jumping
into a new relationship. That�s also known as the rebound effect
and is rarely successful. Another man isn�t necessarily going to
take your mind off of your ex.
Last,
but not least, if you feel you can�t be yourself around a new man,
then keep looking. There�s no need to turn yourself inside out to
make sure you�re exactly what he wants. Be more concerned about
whether or not he�s what you want, instead.
By Max Taylor