These
days, cheating is becoming a highly popularized hobby for people,
especially younger folks who like to �play the field.� However,
those who have been
cheated on know that affairs are nothing to be taken lightly.
They are extremely damaging blows to most all relationships. When an
affair occurs, that�s usually it.
Some
people wonder, though, young or old, if it�s possible to forgive
your other half for infidelities. The fact of the matter is that
whether you�ve been dating for almost a year, or have been married
for a decade or two, the answer remains the same. The truth is that
it�s complicated.
If
you can forgive your lover for cheating on you, there are some
complex feelings that still remain, and some problems that can still
arise as a result of it all. For instance, you may be able to say you
forgive them and stay in the relationship, but the doubt will stay in
your mind. The only comfort you�ll ever feel in the relationship
again is with complete disclosure of all meetings, plans,
conversations, and whatever else applies. No privacy can exist
between the two of you. This wouldn�t be as much of a feat to
accomplish if you�re already married, but if you�re not, the
clinginess and watchfulness would be enough to scare off nearly
anyone.
In
addition, if you can manage to forgive them, truly, it may be
because you don�t fully love them, you�re too dependent on what
they provide to lose them, or you consider yourself good for a
freebie in the future. Many could argue that this kind of forgiveness
isn�t true. You need to be aware that those relationships only end
up failing later on down the line.
Now
it�s not to say it�s impossible, but it�s unlikely that real
forgiveness would be possible. There�s no harm in trying, though. A
few couples may even grow closer together as a result, but the
chances of this sort of thing improving a relationship are extremely
slim.
If
you need some help figuring everything out, remember that there�s
nothing wrong with turning to a close and wise friend for some
insight into your dilemma. However, if you want to really learn about
what happened, try talking to your partner�s lover. Ask them about
what happened and try to be as civil and mature about it as possible.
If they should act unreasonable or trashy, then talk to your partner
instead. Be blunt with your questions and hold out until you feel you
have the truth. You can make the best decision in the matter with as
much information as possible. Take all of the info you find and
compile it together in your head, and you will be able to better
assess the situation to come to an honest conclusion.
As
a relationship is a personal matter between you and your significant
other, no one else has the authority to tell you what is right or
wrong. So, whatever you decide, just be sure it makes you happy.
By Max Taylor